


I'm Scared

by kdfrqqg



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 17:27:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19255825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kdfrqqg/pseuds/kdfrqqg
Summary: reader kisses Dean and things get awkward





	I'm Scared

The drive back to the motel was so quiet and tense. Did that just happen? The ghost strangled the life out of Dean and by the time you got to him, he wasn’t breathing so you gave him mouth to mouth. 

With joy pouring out of you that you had brought him back from the beyond, your body took over and you pressed a passionate kiss on his lips. It seemed right at the time, nothing more than a kiss, a hug, and a word of thanks happened, so why was this so awkward. Dean and you had always been friends or a brother sister type of a bond but this just made shit complicated. You looked over at him and he had this goofy smile on his face, damn he could be so cute when he wanted to be. 

The questions rambled on in your head, why did you do it? Do you like him beyond friends? Does he like you back? You wanted to scream but it just came out as a huff. Dean chuckled knowing what you were doing, you over analyzed everything like always. You glared at him and continued your internal dialogue with yourself. Why did you kiss him in the first place? Why did you use tongue? Why did you press your whole body into his? Why wasn’t he talking to you? Why did it feel so good?

The rest of the night was pretty silent and you were exhausted from finding that stupid ghost’s toupee in a box of old junk. You pulled the covers back on your bed, you were lucky that Sam was on a hunt with Jody so you got your own bed this week. Finally, Dean spoke, “Thanks again for well…”

You turned facing him and smiled, “Well someone’s gotta save ya ass, cause I might need savin’ next time.” You chuckled looking down trying not to make eye contact.

“Yeah, well as saves go I’d rather have you do mouth to mouth on me than Sam.” He also pulled back his blanket, thinking about how amazing your kiss was.

You tossed and turned most of the night feeling an ache in your heart for Dean. He was your friend, he was your partner, in this life you don’t get love. This life ends bloody, you could deal if you lost him and he was just a friend but if he was more, you didn’t think you could survive that.

He was sleeping on his back, he looked so content with himself as drool covered his pillow. He wasn’t worried at all about how this kiss would change your relationship. Maybe you should take his lead, you took a deep breath and counted backwards from 100 by the time you hit 80 you were out like a light. 

The alarm on your phone went off at about nine am, “hey morning!” Dean said putting a cup of coffee on the night stand.

“Hey thanks.” He was nicer than normal, you sat up sitting criss cross applesauce on the bed. “We probably gotta hit the road soon.” He told you. 

You were brushing your teeth when Dean came into the bathroom to grab his stuff, he normally would bump into you a thousand times when he packed up but today he didn’t accidentally touch you once. You spit the toothpaste in the sink knowing now something was up maybe the kiss was bothering him too. 

You and he barely spoke the whole way home to the bunker, you tried to ignore it hoping things would get back to normal in a couple of days.

You walked into the kitchen to get a soda out of the fridge, when you turned around you saw Dean sitting on the floor in the corner with a bottle of beer in his hand. He had three empties sitting next to him, he wasn’t drunk just drinking his sorrows like he liked to do.

“Hey why don’t you join us in the library.” You sat next to him, placing your head on his shoulder with your legs stretched out.

“No. I’m good right here.” He paused, rolling over the next thing he was going to say, “Why don’t you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?“ You questioned back, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

“Dammit, (Y/N/N) don’t play dumb. I know that’s what you’re doing.” He let out an exasperated sigh.

“You mean that mind blowing kiss we shared last week.” You turned your head away from him rubbing your head.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about your soft lips. I think about you all the time.” He spoke low and honestly.

“Yeah me too.” You admitted.

“Then why aren’t you talking to me about it?” Dean asked again, placing his hand over yours.

You pulled away, “Dean, you and I just aren’t going to happen. I care for you but we can’t happen.”

“But why?” He asked almost on the verge of crying and it broke your heart.

“Because our lives end tragically, Dean. We can be friends but nothing else.” You kissed his cheek and stood up trying to hold back the tears. 

You were going to continue but Sam came running in. “Hey guys, I gotta case.”

“Ok” you sniffed, “I’ll be ready in 20.” Covering your mouth and walked as quickly as you could to your room.

Fifteen minutes into the drive, Dean hit Baby’s steering wheel, “No!” He yelled definitely agitated and pulled the car off on the side of the road. Both you and Sam were stunned by his outburst, Dean turned around and barked “Out!”

You didn’t move, he got out the Impala and forcefully opened your door. “I said, Out!” He grabbed your arm, he was angry but he didn’t hurt you. He held onto you just enough for you to know he was serious.

“Dean, what the hell is wrong with you?” You yelled as he drug you around the back side of the car.

Sam hopped out, you pull your hand up letting him know you could handle Dean. He nodded but stayed out of the car.

“You-you is what’s wrong with me.” He passionately shouted. “We end tragically!” He used your words against you, “Everything about our life is tragic. Why don’t you see that? But you-you-you” he stuttered, “you make it less tragic, you make this life bearable.” The tears broke from him. 

“Dean…” your lip quivered.

“No, don’t use my name like that. (Y/N/N) I need you.” He wept. “We could be amazing together but you won’t even give us a try.”

“I know Dean,” you wiped your nose, “I’m scared, I’m just so scared Dean.”

He saw the fear in your eyes, he took your hands and pulled you into a hug, “Me too. I’m scared too. I’m scared as hell that I need you so much. I’m scared of losing you.”

Your head fell into the crook of his neck, his warmth calmed you, he smelled so good. Things with Dean wouldn’t be a cakewalk but you were willing to try if he was. It was clear both of you had feelings for each other. All was calm no one spoke a word, you just embraced him.

“Sweetheart, please talk to me.” He released his hold on you.

You stepped back and looked up at him with wet, red eyes, he didn’t need to hear your words, he understood completely. His lips crashed against yours, his hands massaged the back of your head. He tasted like hops, barley and the salt that came from your tears mingled with his. You continued to cry as he switched from hard kisses to tender. “(Y/N), I’m not going anywhere. You don’t need to be afraid.”

“Yeah, I can’t help it. I’ve never felt like this.” You kissed his neck. “It’s new for me.”

“Are you willing to try?” He asked again.

“I’m willing to fight for us, to fight for you.” Your whole body shook as you confessed.

“Yeah?” He kissed the top of your head.

“Yeah!” You agreed wiping your eyes.

He lifted you up, making you squeak. He kissed you hard, your lips parted for him as his tongue swept into your mouth. Your legs wrapped around his waist holding on to him never wanting to let him go. He finally let you go when cars honked at you dry humping on the side of the road. Laughing on the way back to the car, he closed the door for you trying to be polite.

Sometime during all that Sam got back in the car to give you some privacy. “Everything good?” He asked once you were situated.

“Yeah Sam everything’s good.” Dean turned to you in the back seat and took your hand.

“Ok so two rooms?” Sam asked, not sure if you were ready for that.

You bit your lip and giggled, “Yeah, I think two rooms would be a good idea.” Now that you made up your mind to be with Dean, you didn’t want to waste a moment with him.


End file.
